The Easy Roast Chicken Recipe For Beginners

Posted on Posted in Chicken

Easy Roast Chicken recipe 4You are an adult, and you need a damn roast chicken recipe.

If you are above the age of 25, and you have never roasted a chicken, then put down your Pokechits and Charshards for a second, because I am going to teach you to feed yourself.

You will roast a chicken, because roast chicken is food at its most basic, primal, and for some, intimidating.  Conquer the fear.  Fear is the mind killer.  Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.  And I am not going to let you be obliterated by a small dead bird.

Especially such a tasty small dead bird.Easy Roast Chicken recipe 2THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR.  Raw chicken scares people because they might catch salmonella, I guess.  Or it scares them because it’s five pounds of slimy poultry.  Or it scares them because people fear the unknown.

Well, stop whining, dude, because you are letting fear rule you, and that is not cool!  Fear is what brought us Trump, man. 1  Get over your fear, because as you about to find out, there is NOTHING to be afraid of.  It’s a chicken.

Salmonella is totally a legitimate worry when you’re preparing a roast chicken recipe, IF you are being a moron.  All you have to do is think ahead.  Anything that touches the chicken or its juices: wash it with soap and water or throw it away before it touches anything else.  Have the trash can open next to you.  Open the chicken in the sink so that the juices don’t run everywhere.  Have your salt and pepper measured out, and your cooking pan ready right there, so that you don’t need to open any drawers with chicken-ey hands.

If you DO forget something, wash your hands with soap and water, do whatever you need to, then get back to the chicken. 2

Once you conquer your fear and actually have your hands on the chicken, you’ve won three quarters of the battle.  Now dry the bird as much as you can, and cook it breast side down at first to protect the more delicate meat.Easy Roast Chicken Recipe YCMTDefeat the bird.  Create roast chicken, and you will have both a delicious meal and delicious already-cooked chicken for other meals, meals that you will be able to assemble with much less time and trouble than otherwise.

Make this roast chicken recipe, and you can be the master of your kitchen.


Easiest Roast Chicken For Beginners
Serves 6
Roasting a chicken is stupid simple. You need to do this now.
Prep Time
10 min
Cook Time
1 hr
Total Time
1 hr 10 min
Prep Time
10 min
Cook Time
1 hr
Total Time
1 hr 10 min
  1. 1 whole raw chicken (fully thawed if from frozen)
  2. salt and pepper (see notes)
  1. Preheat the oven to 450°F.
  2. Open the chicken in the sink to avoid juices running everywhere. Dry the chicken thoroughly inside and out with paper towels. Rub the salt and pepper underneath the bird's skin, distributing as evenly as you can.
  3. Put the chicken breast-side down (the opposite of how you normally see a Thanksgiving turkey presented) on a wire rack over a rimmed cookie sheet to catch the juices. Cook for thirty minutes.
  4. Flip the chicken breast-side up and cook another thirty minutes, then remove from the oven.
  5. Let the chicken rest for ten minutes before carving and serving.
  1. For a basic rule of thumb, use a half teaspoon of salt per pound of bird, and half that much ground pepper. So for a six pound chicken, measure out three teaspoons of salt, and a teaspoon and a half of ground pepper.
Adapted from The Splendid Table
Feral Cuisine
Easy Roast Chicken Pin


  1. I know this is a food blog and all, and I’m not going to get drawn into a political discussion here, I just want to say… damn.  Trump?  TRUMP?
  2. If any soap gets on the chicken, rinse it really well.  No biggie.

Say something crazy!